Monday, September 28, 2009

Freedom

Its such a bazaar feeling to feel free from the trap i was trapped in. I was trapped in my own dream that was also a nightmare. The truth was i was living a lie i was in love with a fantasy instead of the reality. I have met so many nice guys since i broke free of my trance. Some who are players, and some who are genuine. None the less i am starting to see the different sides of people, and i am learning to weed out the ones who won't be there in the end. The truth is as an old "fake letter from god" said if we are to love Him first and foremost He will bring us to the one He wants us to find. We are to not grow weary, faint, and tired as long as we wait upon Him to renew us in strength that we will mount up with wings like eagles. Speaking from Isaiah 40:31. Just keep your eyes set above and where could you go wrong? Life is not a cake walk, but finding a nice guy isn't that hard as long as you stop looking and just have fun. That person will eventually waltz into your life right when your least expecting it.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

so....

So i have come to the conclusion that I am not really interested in findin anything right now in this point in time. If i get my hopes up that some good guy is gonna come along and they don't show up hahaha i can't be disapointed. I am now just trying very hard to be patient. I know God is teaching me something through this, but i can tell you one thing... there are too many jerks in this world. I am just kicking back for now and just having fun. When God feels its the right time i know that special someone will just walk into my life, but until then i am not going to worry about it. I have been hurting again inside missing someone to hold and to care for. I guess i just have too much of that giving nature. I don't know how to just be by myself ha thats funny though because all throughout highschool i did it... but know that i am older i feel like i am running out of time even though i am still so young to so many people. I feel older mentally so it just hurts more i guess. I had a good prayer time with my friend Diana last night who is going through the same struggles i am and its funny how friends can sometimes go through it at the same time. I know God allows that so we can be a comfort to each other, but dang... does it hurt. haha. I am ready to hit the ground running after some dream just wish i knew which one... I am really praying and thinking about the Coast Guard idea i have. Medical training and what not available in there and whatever else might grab my interest. It would give me an opportunity to see some more of the U.S. how cool would that be?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Very Terrible of me.....

Today i am sitting at my desk at work. Looking and watching all the amounts of plumbers that are coming into the store... I am amazed that i can count on my hand the amount of white guys that come into my store on a daily basis. I love culture i love diversity, but uh.... wait a min we are the minority now down here in the valley. I am very confused what happened to all of us white people? I feel very racist right now and normally i would not be. I am not one to ever want someone to feel like i didn't like them.

I am also extremely frustrated with how our laws are being governed. I mean just the other day my car got broken into. About 5 years ago that would have been unheard of in my neighborhood. It's amazing how much crime has gone up in the recent years. I would love to see some undercover people go in and take all these dooshbags out. See back in the old west days it was a lot easier you did something wrong they took you out and now its the innocent get jailed and the bad guys go free.... OJ S, that guy who killed his wife and unborn child, and you know about half the idiots on trial.

What we need is someone to come in and clean house on our government because half the issues were because the politicians screwed the banks and then it became what we have now a recession. Why do we let these people run our lives? There are many more of us than there are of them so why don't we have a revolution again and make things clean up? See we just keep letting it happen instead of actually doing something about it. It's rediculous. When will we learn?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Life is never what you'd expect.

I have had a rough past two days. I have wanted to walk out the door at my work and quit. I know I need to be thankful for a job in these tough times, but sometimes work expects too much out of me. I am only one person i can only do so much. Anyways. So i just have been answering way too many phone calls and listening to my boss yell at me way too much... I have been being as patient as possible. Not working to well. Had piles of papers surrounding my desk and tried to keep a smile on my face while i helped the customers with cash sales.... answered a lot of phone calls and over all just tried to keep my chin up. Sometimes that's all we can do. Finally at one point one of my bosses noticed that i was losing my mind and decided to come and give me a break. That made it go a little better after that. Well keep trucking along people... :)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Today...

So last night i was greeted by several text messages and retardedness from the ex.... Guess they'll never learn. They must think its in their nature and their job to bug us till the end. Men just don't get it when we say we are done we are done. I was driving back to work today from home taking care of my little adorable dog Duke. And i was thinking to myself how happy i am to be single. I feel very content right where i am at in life. I have wonderful people around me right now, i am envolved with church, going to school, and just enjoying the great out doors what on earth do i need a boy friend for??? haha. Boys... the'll never learn.

Today is a nice day outside too nice to be couped up at work. I have a job though I need to be grateful for that. My work layed off two people last week here and that just makes it so close to home. The worst part about it was that they were both my friends at work. That always makes it more tough. I am just treaking along here. I want to take my amazing dog for a hike on Saturday after i am done working. I think he'll enjoy that and i love being in God's creation.

I've really been learning patience these days because i've had to keep my head above water here at work. I have a difficult time answering phones all day. It gets tiresome and i get to a point where i wish my other co-worker was here still. She was the main receptionist before i became the main one. So i hardly had to answer phones....not that i am complaining just more a trial of patience. I am learning to get through it though. God knows how much i can handle and won't give me more than He can help me to handle.

I am also looking forward to paying off my bills so i can get my bedroom set and be able to get my life a little more organized. I did get my room cleaned and i fianlly unpacked from my trip hahaha wow i know how many weeks ago now... I've been a bit busy can you tell. haha ok well i am going to have to close this down now. thanks for listening... that is if you were. haha...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

.....not sure what to say.....

I am at work currently just relaxing waiting for the day to end. I have finished all my work there isn't a thing i can do right now. So i figured i'd just blog about nothing. Life has been just a bit busy today. We are closing for our month end. I also have now discovered I am allergic to some types of air freshners in bathrooms. My throat has swelled up twice now since i've been at work with in the last week. It was only on the days that i would go into our women's restroom. Not fun. Anyways. I am looking forward to my Bible study tonight. I really enjoyed class last night. I have just started my German class last night with my two close friends Nikki and Nissa. It's great. We have a nice teacher and he's pretty easy to understand. So i have nothing else to say. => haha i know i am a weirdo i am sure all of you are wondering why on earth i even blogged this.... just one of those days....

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Picatures picatures

Aunty Renee and I in Paris :) cold wet and tired... haha
Hotel hehe as you can read in Paris oh yah...
Tyler and I in an eclectic cafe in Paris we are cooler than the French haha..
Hard Rock Cafe in Paris
Chrystal, Aunty Renee, me, Sylvia my family in Vienna
Church in Salzburg, Austria
Bridge on way to Linz, Austria

Hard Rock Cafe Munich, Germany

Lonely for a Min...

Sometimes its frustrating when you look around and friends are all getting married or have a guy that actually seems to be right for them. Sometimes I envy those people... but then I think about it... I still have so much time to do that. I can travel, see the things I want to see, and I can get what I want to get done. It was interesting a co-worker of mine and I were speaking about my ex situation and I had mentioned I really hadn't thought of him while I was on my trip. He said "then you probably didn't really love him"...Hum interesting situation. Oh well life goes on...

I am currently at work super early on a Saturday morning. I am very tired and still a little jet lagged. I am hoping that clears up soon. My room looks like Hurricane Katrina went through it. It needs to be redone so that I have a little place to call my own. I have been planning how I want it to look I am going to force myself as tired as I am to work on it today.

I know one thing for sure I am happy to have a job in these tough times right now. Things are getting pretty bad... People's homes being foreclosed, no one finding jobs, and just not enough cash flow for anyone. It's hitting the plumbing business' very bad, and I see it everyday. One of our major companies just had their general contractor (who owes them a lot of money) file for chapter 11 it's such a huge general that this particular chapter 11 was reported in the newspaper. I personally think that the major factors of our economy being so bad are as follows... people like the octuplets mom who live off the government, gas prices, housing prices, and over saturation of businesses. I could never ever ever live off the government I'd find a way to make money and I for darn sure would work my butt of till I found myself a job. Laziness is one of the worst diseases that exist in the world today it isn't obesity or cancer it's laziness.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Post Vacation Blues


I am starting to miss being out of the country. I must say the world has lot's of beautiful places all you have to do is look for these places and soon you will find them. I have decided that I want to see more of the US i keep on traveling out and halfway across the world now its time to see my home country. I haven't been to some places here, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Mt Rushmore, Pittsburgh, Boston, New York, and the list goes on. There are so many beautiful places here it's time to discover them. Plus it's a little less expensive haha. I must say that being in Paris was a beautiful thing even though my experience coming home was so much of a disaster. I did enjoy the views such as this gorgeous view of Notre Dame. The bridges look amazing at night. The city is a bit dirty so to be able to see it at night helps to cover up the dirt and for you to see the beauty that lays within it's walls. I hope that many of you are able to see things like this and to discover many new places. It's so important to see these places to appreciate God even more. He has created man to help create beautiful things even though God could just speak and all of this could just exist with out our help. I must say I am happy to be home yet I would love to keep traveling. I have many goals to accomplish time to start checking off my list. HAHA enjoy the picture and may it encourage you to travel.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

OH yah there are still Gentlemen around...

Just wanted to say Tyler thank you.... for being a Gentleman.... those Roses were very sweet and nice... As well as all the help you gave us helping us through Paris, carrying some of our things, and just seeing us in Paris was a nice thing....

He is just a friend but a true one at that.... So it's nice to see they still exist... even to open a door, carry some things, and give a rose to say that you are special.... :) See little things do count in our eyes we don't always just want diamonds.... :)

THANKS AGAIN TYLER....for hope for the Male race haha.... :)

French Soil left a Bad Taste in my Mouth...

Well I am home now.... it kind of amazing i didn't miss the flight.... I enjoyed my trip all the way up till the time i was coming home..... here it starts.... we are in the airport in Munich and i am going to check my baggage... my aunt and i spent a few hours packing doing the best we could to make our suitcases only weigh 23kg approx 45lbs we were fighting and struggling balancing and replacing and leaving things behind. When we checked our luggage they told us we both had to pay 50 euros more because one of both our bags were over by 2kg.... we were a bit upset because many people are let though with that amount as ok... but the french lady behind the counter saw that we were American.... as my aunt walked away to go pay for her luggage the lady turned to here friend and told her "those stupid American's" in German....haha little did she know i could understand her for i understand German. So she checked my bags and I wanted to say something to her in German to show here I understood what she had said but I wanted my luggage to make it home so decided better of that idea. Went to pay for my stuff and continued on to security....Went through security with 1 hand luggage the exact size of hand luggage ur supposed to be allowed, a backpack as my purse, and a small bag of one very breakable thing. Got on the plane and on my way i went......

Made it safely to Paris, France.... got of the plane and proceeded to go meet my friend Tyler at the trainstation in the airport. Got there no sign of him... I walked all around up and down and then decided to go back to look through the terminal to double check he wasn't waiting there for me... nope no Tyler..... walked all the way back to the trainstation went back to my aunt and said i hope he shows up soon or that i find him within 20 min or we are going to have to try to see what little we can of Paris... (17hours all we had) Just then i turned around and lone behold just about 20o feet away TYLER!!!!! yay I told my aunt there he is i run i jump and hahah walla we have found eachothere... turns out later he told me he did the same things i did walked around looked in the terminal... we must have crossed paths and didn't even know it....

Well it was the day after Valentine's Day and he had a rose which he handed to me... then turned to my Aunt and said to her oh too bad I didn't know u were coming i would have gotten you one as well.... oh but wait what is this he pulls another rose hidden from inside his jacket.... it was very sweet.... We then proceeded to purchase 2day metro slash train passes to get to see some of Paris... Got on the train and went to his hostle. Dropped some of our load off and took one backpack with some valuable things in it and continued on to see PARIS.... First stop was to go to the Hard Rock Cafe before it closed!!!!!!! haha made it but the Kitchen was closed... :( no food there. Got our lovely turisty things and left... went next store proceeded to eat nachos haha in France very good i might add and drank a balinie martini i know i spelled that wrong... Left there and off we went to the Louve!!!! That was a beautiful site even though it was well not lit up.... and as we looked off to the South East i believe no lit up Eifel tower either :( But it was still beatiful to see... Then we proceeded on to see the Arch (haha of what i can't remember) that famous one haha. After that we proceeded to walk to Notre Dame because of course the Metro shuts down a little after Midnight hahah so we walked there.... but stopped once again to see a little light in the middle of the city another late night cafe to stop in... tired, wet, cold, and just worn out we sat down to a cafe o'le, cafe latte, and an 11euro haha coke.... well none the less the place was dry, warm, and friendly. Stayed there till they kicked us out... haha went on to Notre Dame it was gorgeous to see at night that was the one place that was lit up at night and wow was it beautiful to see. haha and met a few nice drunk French young men in the park area haha that was funny... Took many pictures there and continued on to the metro which was now open early moring haha RUSH of people on their way to work... wow that was insane pushing, shoving and many other abnoxious things haha... Got to the Eiffel Tower wow that was amazing to see... took lots of pictures... Then we looked around to see if we could find a near by cafe that was open that we could sort of see the eiffel tower from... haha none to see so i saw some French military people and decided i would ask them if any of them spoke english and if they could recomend some place.... they were niceish and told me down the street to the right found a two to choose from ducked into one and we proceeded to try to order some things.... first two hot chocolates (tyler and my aunt ordered) as they orded those Tyler was still looking at the menu which the girl ripped out of his hands and threw on another table with a rude, discusted look on her face... haha wow our first rude person... We left there as soon as we could and headed back off to the Hostel to get a loaf of bread and some crissonts and get on our way to the airport.... Got on the trains which were now packed and more pushing and shoving and got on the train to the airport and were traveling quickly through to there... Said our good byes because Tyler had to get off a stop earlier than us and my Aunt and I continued on to the stop we needed....

Got inside and proceeded to the board to tells us where we needed to go to get to our plane.... our's wasn't listed yet... sat and waited finally it was on the board proceeded to go to our security area to go through because we already had our boarding passes... haha showed our passports and walla again the lovely rude people of France took over.... No u have too many carry on's.... huh.... we got through in Munich where it was a smaller plane no issues there haha no no no u need to go check one them in.... huh??? We said ok went to go ask about this at the counter were told no u don't have to much here are some tags and continue over there... go back to security still rude lady no no no u can't come through tooo much stuff. I told her we were told it was ok... she said bring someone back to say that to me... fine walk back over told the same person who told us it was ok he showed us to a supervisor who told us well i guess we'll have to check two of ur bags.... now we showed her we already were paying for exess baggage from the other airport haha that wasn't enough she said 300 euros were needed to check both our little carry on's GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i was about to lose it at this point.... I told her can u please do something for us we are tired, want to go home, have spent enough money and need ur help.... She said ok.... 150 one bag free fine.... ok we'll take it.... did the paperwork sent them on their way praying nothing would break..... (all our breakables in these carry on's and my aunt's coach purse) went to the wrong place to pay our 150 euros but a nice guy behind the counter asked if we had frequent flier miles with them... we said yes he said we can pay this with those.. we wer 2000 short but he said ok we will put i through and the next time u fly with us it will deduct hahah it was freee!!!!!! off we went to security with security stamps on our passports stating we could go through w/o more hassels....

At this point i turn to my Aunt and told her FORGET FRANCE I am never coming back... RUDE and mean people... YUKE!!!!!! Got our little trinkets and got on the plane and flew home... Landed safely and were getting yelled at by the Security girl in the plane no phones while we taxi ok... fine... comes back again right before we docked ahah no phones again.... she was RUDE too haha..... got off plane got through customs and got outside i KISSED AMERICAN SOIL and said i am PROUD TO BE AMERICAN... I missed home.....

Got home nothing of my things were broken miraculously... but my Aunt's bag suffered a little damage.... one stine had a broken handle and one little breakable bunny figurine had a broken ear... but overall we got home safe.... barley but safe.... it was an experience i don't want to experience again....

But seeing Paris at night was fun and quiet without Rude people....haha... Many thanks to my friend Tyler for helping us get through our time there and see all that we did see.... It was a good time then... but yes i must say French people do hate us... Oh well.... Farewell for now..... Pictures will follow on here sometime this week...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Europe to clear the head.

So i have decided that leaving the USA to clear my head of stupid boys helped alot. I am now not feeling like i must be with anyone to enjoy my life... I am happy to be single and living how i please. I have seen and done many things here that if i were with someone i would feel like i couldn´t be free. That doesn´t mean that i have been with other people it just means that i have been able to not have a leash attatched to me so that i would have to call, write, or text to someone just to let them know i am not cheating on them or whatever... I am sick of having a leash on me that says i have to let them know i am fine but for them they can do what they want no way.... it works both ways or not at all. Freedom is a beautiful thing... I will have to post some pictures online when i have a chance. I have seen some beautiful things while i have been here in Austria and I will continue to travel as much as i can... Now i will be saving up for trips all the time. Don´t care if its even in the great USA or all around the world just getting away helps to clear the mind. :) super duper... Gentlemen to exist if u wait for them... Mine´s out there some where.... maybe it will happen soon or maybe i will meet him later... Doesn´t matter for now God, family, school ,and work are the most important things... (family includes friends) life is good just keep on smelling the roses and looking at the glass half full that´s all we can do... SMILE =)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Where are they??

Ladies i'm not sure how many of you agree with me, but have you noticed lately there are less and less gentlemen out there? Most guys just want to get you in bed, get what they can out of you, or just take your money from you. What happened to men wanting to be sentimental, caring, and loving creatures? This day in age is all about what can they do for me. Relationships are now only one sided one person is doing all the work... normally it's us ladies. When you break up one of those relationships they don't understand why and blame you for all the stuff that happened. Then you have those other guys that tell you they are your friends, but next thing you know they are asking for you to sleep with them.....
When was the last time a guy opened the door for you or actually took the time to ask you how your day was? Men we are not here to serve you like slaves, yes the Bible does call us to serve you, but it also says that you need to serve us. Buying yourself a big screen tv and throwing yourself down in front of it to keep out of our hair isn't a way of serving.... it's just plain lazy. I know you have to work hard, but in this day in age we all do. Ladies have a job, and they come home, cook, clean, and take care of you.... hello we need a break sometimes.
Once in a while we'd like to be wined and dinned, given occasional flowers, given a hug, a kiss, or just hey "dear you look nice today". Is it so much to ask for you to open the door for us, to open the car door for us, or even to just ask us how our day was. We understand whe you come home from work you might not want to talk about it right away... but we always listen when you want to talk. I didn't realize that we demand so much. Most of us aren't that high mantience... if we are you can tell us in a gentle way.... if we don't listen be patient we have to do the same for you... Oh and is it sooooo much to ask that you put the toilet seat down after your finished... it was not designed to keep the lid up... have you looked at it... it doesn't look nice...
I am not being sinicle i'm just hurt, sick in tired, and frustrated with being treated like a piece of meat.... I am not a steak dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am human I have feelings just like you.... What happened to respect??? Disicpline? I guess you threw it out the window like your parents or maybe you just never had any for yourself therefore you miss treat all of us because you feel you've been treated wrong... GROW UP!!!!!